shadow and mirror (mollya) wrote,
shadow and mirror

I feel numb. After five weeks of asking for metrics and not getting any on my part of this huge project, they came back on Thursday in a vague, secondhand way. What I have been doing has not - as they say - moved the needle. God, I wish I had known this three weeks ago when I first started agitating for the metrics, pointing out that the data they had couldn't possibly be right, hounding the devs into looking into how the client was reporting to GA. I could have been trying other things, making different choices.

There are so many more things that I want to try, but I don't know if I am going to get the chance. They might just say, forget what you are doing. You had five weeks and you have no metrics to show for it.

I hardly slept last night, and tonight I have to take this red-eye that doesn't even leave until 1am. Tomorrow afternoon is a huge meeting where we have to report on what we did to the big bosses and I am going to have to say, I did nothing of value.

I am flying into this ice storm, and maybe we will be on essential staff only at the office tomorrow. Non-essential staff work from home when this happens. I don't want to work from G's house because his little kids will want me to pay attention to them. I don't even pay attention to my own children, I am so obsessed with this work project. I am actually considering going in to the office and just sleeping on the couch in the lounge instead of going to G's, showering in the bike room. I don't feel fit to be around children.
Tags: work
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